Prostrate, but with Eyes Unveiled: A Prayer for Parshat Balak

This Dvar Torah was written by Dr. Bella Tendler Krieger, CAJE’s Director, Adult Learning and Growth. To see summer course offerings visit CAJEADULTLEARNING.ORG

Hostage Square in Tel Aviv. View more Facebook.com/CAJEMiami

It’s 2AM and I can’t sleep. I’ve got a trip planned tomorrow to the Gaza Envelope and I’m scared. Not for my personal safety. I’m scared for my psyche and the pain I will be putting it through. My group plans to visit the site of the Nova festival and Kibbutz Kfar Aza. I’ve seen footage from these places; I wonder what it will mean to see them in person. The atrocities our people endured there on October 7th are incomprehensible and I don’t really want to stare them in the face.

I don’t know if I can handle the bald reality of the hatred there, to have my eyes opened to the impossibility of peace. It’s much easier to rely on sweeping theories to explain the conflict: post-colonialism, religious fanaticism, economics, than to see the burnt homes and bullet holes it left behind. It is much easier to dream of peace and a two-state solution when I don’t personally see the harm we have caused each other.

This week’s torah portion, Parshat Balak, plays with the idea of sight throughout. The Israelites are described as so numerous they cover the eye of the earth. (Num 22:5;11) Balaam’s miraculous donkey can see what his master cannot. (Num 22:23;25;27) God unveils Balaam’s eyes so that he sees the angel standing before him with a drawn sword. (Num 22:31) When blessing the Israelites, Balaam twice describes himself as “a man whose eye is true… who beholds visions of the almighty, prostrate, but with eyes unveiled.” (Numbers: 24:3-4; 15-16)

What does it mean to have my eyes unveiled, to truly see the ugly reality? Is it better to shield my eyes from the damage so that I can continue hoping for peace?

This is a struggle Israeli citizens wrestle with every day. Do they want to be realists, who stare the facts in the face, or idealists who hold onto their dreams, no matter the cost?

Idealism is needed for stamina, for achieving long-term goals. The Jewish people did not survive two thousand years of exile by being realistic. They dreamt, they hoped, and against all odds, made the ingathering of the exiles a reality.

On the other hand, idealism is risky. If they shut their eyes to danger, they might have another October 7th. If they don’t show their neighbors that they can bark, froth at the mouth, and tear flesh as well as them, they will have no deterrence. They cannot survive in the Middle East with kid gloves. The price of naivete is too great.

Realism is necessary for survival, but it has its own dangers. It can lead to tribalism and to callous survivalism. If our enemies have no values, then to hell with ours! We need only care for our own people. It’s a pragmatic race to the bottom, morality be damned.

This dilemma is ethical and strategic, and it is hard to know which path is right. Eyes wide open or eyes wide shut -- which path is better for the Jews? Is it better to be realistic or idealistic about this conflict? Resigned to endless war or striving for a shared society?

These questions are impossible to answer definitively, and I begrudge no one their perspective.

But I think it is important to look.

God give us the courage to see and still hold onto hope. God preserve the integrity of our values but grant us the strength to do what must be done

Shabbat Shalom